the best sleep

so i had one of those nights. you know those nights where you occasionally catch yourself being mostly conscious, and wonder if you'd actually slept at all, or been lying there in a half-fog for hours? yea, one of those. although i know i did sleep, because the dreams were vivid. i'd watched last night er.. last night, which if you don't know is a brilliant movie. especially given when it came out, it was like the canadian response to armageddon. see, in last night, there's no bruce willis or big ol' holly jolly american government to save the world. there's just the end of the world (left undefined and vague for those late night, wine-soaked musings), and how people are coping with it. a little off-beat, and featuring my all-time favourite canadian actor. (if you have to be told it's callum keith rennie, you really haven't been paying attention, have you!? heh.)

my dreams... wow. a lot of tears and discussed fears. and sun. and a giant kite that i trailed behind me as i rode my bike with my nephew jake - until it threatened to get tangled in the electrical wires, and i just let it fly off. and oh the wonderdawg came for a brief visit too, and i rubbed his belly and chin and held him so tight. he was dirty, as though he'd been playing in the dirt on dog hill in high park... and my family - they were all there too. we spent a fair bit of time driving around for some reason. and at this one point, i was in the car with my mom waiting for my sister, and i was in the back seat but curled around into the front seat in a most peculiar angle. and perhaps i looked like i was curled up and napping cuz a fella ran by, tapped the window and cried out "don't sleep now, it's the last day of the world!"

maybe my family would feel special to know that in my dreams anyway, i'd spend the last day on earth with them? though given that one lives in montreal, one in toronto, and the rest on vancouver island, and we don't get along so fabulously well - maybe that one's best saved for the dreams.

and then a little over an hour before my alarm was going to nudge me into my daily grind, i found myself 100% alert. breathe, i told myself. breathe and try your little "99 bottles of beer on the wall" trick and if you do it just right and fall asleep in the next 5 minutes, you'll get a full rem cycle in.

no dice.

no dice until probably 20 minutes before my alarm went off. meaning the deepest, cosiest, best sleep i enjoyed all night was in the 20 minutes before the alarm went off, and in the several 10-minutes-of-SNOOZE i treated myself to afterwards.

bleurgh.